ASK ME IF IT’S HOT? Man, I can’t remember it being this hot the first part of July in a long time. I could be wrong, of course my hubby says, “you’re never wrong”! He is being a little sarcastic don’t you think. But I could just possibly be wrong this time. He is always on my case about knowing everything. I keep telling him WOMEN do know everything…agree?

Back to subject at hand, being HOT. I was so hot, I thought I was going to “melt and run down in my shoes”. I even told the hubby, I think I will just strip down to my “birthday suit” and run jump in the lake. He quietly told me, LAKE MALONE IS NOT READY FOR THAT, and I am not either. Do you hear me WOMAN? You are not going to do that and I mean it. I don’t think you should force that sight on anybody. Of course I just laughed. He gets so mad sometimes. He should have known I was kidding.

Well, my first choice for staying cool after I was told not to do my “little trick” in the lake was to eat some of my watermelon I had bought just for this occasion. Then my sweet neighbor brought over some homemade ice cream. After I found out what was in it, I nearly died. Ten thousand fat grams! It just tasted so good as I was eating it as fast as I could because I didn’t want it to melt—-yea right? Of course, I knew tomorrow I would be wearing it on my back side.

Then my other neighbor invited me to go out on my float with her group. I will assure you that I did not wear my “birthday suit”. I wore my cute little one piece creation that I purchased in Bowling Green, year before last, when they went on sale at Macy’s! Of course it is not one of those cute little “STRING THINGS” that all the girls wear now, that cover the bare essentials. I am afraid I would need a really big ball of string to cover up my bare essentials. But it’s sad to say, the float gathering didn’t help at all. After about an hour, everyone noticed we were getting a little sun burned so back to shore again to come up with another solution.

My hubby felt sorry for us and suggested a ride on the pontoon. Have you ever tried to do anything on Lake Malone on a week end? Everybody who has a boat or even thought of having a boat was out there. They were pulling somebody in or on something that went sailing by so fast I thought we would get hit by a human flying object. Waves were so high from big power motors that we got a little “sea sick”! It must have been the sunburn, couldn’t have been all our favorite drinks we had trying to keep cool all dayl. So back to shore we went. The Hubby did not want us to mess up his boat. When we arrived he said, “I don’t think I am going to make it through all this hot weather.

All the company went home and I was once again faced with still being HOT all alone. So, I got out the trusty kayak. That was after the boats ran out of gas or everyone got tired and the water calmed down. Peace at last. There is nothing as wonderful as being in 100 degree plus weather, sweating to death, in a kayak and all of a sudden you are surrounded by a flock of GEESE. They don’t seem as big until you are surrounded and they are all honking for you to get out of their way. You know I was never afraid of a goose and really loved to run my kayak right through the middle of them until I saw a film on you tube. There was a man who did just that and when he ran his kayak through the geese, they started to attack him. They flew all around his head until he jumped in the water. After seeing that I WON’T DO THAT AGAIN. So much for the kayak adventure, I gave up and went back to shore HOT.

Finally I gave up on water sports and retreated to my nice cool house and listened to the air conditioner run! Of course the only thing on TV was reruns of “movies past”, I tried calling my girl friend to pass the rest of the day and she did not answer, got her voice mail. Well, I can truly say “I HAD A HOT TIME AT THE LAKE” this past week.

I would like to share one last thing with you. After all this trauma and being HOT all day, my friend called to tell me he heard it was going to rain. Of course I questioned him on this such as when and how much? For some reason, he gave me the idea that he really wasn’t that sure himself. I asked if I should start my “rain dances”. He told me it wouldn’t hurt. So all you people out there that want it to rain, stand out in your yard, lift your arms to the sky and start shouting and dancing.

When my Hubby overheard our conversation, he laughed out loud. And once again he mentioned, please DO NOT do it in your ‘birthday suit’. Do you hear me woman? He always says that like I am deaf or something. He also strongly suggested that I quit giving people all these crazy ideas! He thinks I will do something that will embarrass him! I don’t know why but he is really hung up on my birthday suit. Maybe he never heard it called that before.

Well, I have bored you enough with my moaning and groaning. I really think everybody should “PRAY FOR RAIN”. LOTS OF IT! Enough to fill the lake and raise the water to cover the downed trees that fell last winter in front of my house. The fishermen will love it because they always get caught in them as they fish by

You ladies out there, if your hubby gives you any static about doing a “RAIN DANCE”, you tell him old TG said it was okay. Who knows, IT MIGHT JUST BRING RAIN.

“till next time’