Even though the scars she bears aren't as visible as the orange clothing she has to wear while at the Logan County Detention Center, it doesn't mean they aren't there.

The days she spends incarcerated are part of another chapter of a life that has been filled with pain, fear, heartache and abuse.

For 27 years Pam Jolicoeur lived the seemingly never-endless horror of an abused wife. "I really thought I would die one day by his hand," she says as she folds her hands and struggles to fight back the tears, as she remembers countless moments of being hurt as well as the hopeless feeling of nowhere to go for escape or no one to turn to for help.

Pam Whisman was born and raised in Michigan, a childhood she says that was 'okay.'

It was when she turned 13 that marks the turning point in her life; it was then, through a family member, she met the man she would marry, Kevin, who was a year older than she.

"I guess it was kind of love at first sight," Pam says. "I just wish I had done everything so differently, though."

A year later, at the age of 14, Pam's mother decided to leave her father and move out of Michigan to start a new life in Oklahoma. It was Kevin who drove the family to Oklahoma, even though he didn't have a driver's license at the age of 15.

"Kevin grew up fast and hard, he had a rough life -- but it still doesn't excuse what he has done to me," Pam says.

The courtship between Pam and Kevin continued; it wasn't but a few months after the move to Oklahoma that Pam asked her mother if she could marry the young man. She consented.

So, she was 14, and he was 15. As husband and wife, the two eventually returned to Michigan to live.

After a while, though, they decided to move to Logan County, where Kevin had relatives. Their decision to leave Michigan is one Pam has come to regret several times through the years. The house they first moved into was one she knows would have been condemned as uninhabitable in her home state.

She can't remember exactly when her husband hit her the first time, but she still remembers vividly the slap, the feeling of shock, as well as the wonderment of what she had done wrong.

Pam gave birth to her first child when she was 18 years old, a little girl. A son would follow, as well as three other girls; her youngest is now eight years old.

Through the years the abuse escalated, becoming more intense with each episode, but always ending with an "I'm sorry" and the empty promise that it would not happen again.

Silently Pam suffered, asking God some nights why didn't He just take her home. Divorce was not an option she considered, since she was raised Catholic and instructed that she "should stay with her man." She felt totally alone as she tried to hold her family together and get through each day.

Eventually it was not only Pam who was being abused; the kids were also. "Whenever one of the kids did something that displeased him and I could see he was going to go for a child, I would step in between, hoping to deflate some of his anger."

"We walked on eggshells, trying to say what we thought he would want to hear," Pam said. "If he was in a good mood, we were all in a good mood, but if he was in a bad mood, we would just try to stay out of his way."

So many bad memories she deals with, each bringing tears to her eyes. She usually didn't seek medical treatment after a beating, since he was always careful to hit her where she could hide the bruises. One time, however, she had to drive herself to seek medical help when he broke her arm with a hammer.

Why did she stay? "Where was I going to go with five kids? There was no one to help me. You have to remember 15 to 20 years ago there just wasn't as much help available as there is now," she said.

Recently Pam has learned her children's father not only physically abused them, but sexually abused three of her daughters as well; for that crime he has been sentenced to 30-plus years in prison after pleading guilty to the charge.

As she reflects over her life, the pain, the fear, she feels as if it has been nothing but a lie.

Now she must deal with some of her own legal problems, a product of a life that has been filled with more "mountains to climb" that anyone person should ever have to deal with.

She is looking forward to putting her problems behind her and, hopefully, starting a new life, one without fear and pain.

It has been a long time, however, since Pam has been out on her own. She wants to leave Logan County but not Kentucky, since her son is in prison here; it is he who gives her the strength she needs these days to survive.

Her son is another victim of the years of abuse, having been convicted for his own son's death. "He writes me all the time and tells me I do have the strength to overcome all of this, to go on to make a new life. I just have to keep telling myself I can do this. He reminds me I can now go on without having to worry about my husband bothering me anymore."

How different would Pam's life be if she had just had someone to help her? That is the one message she would like to tell other women who are suffering at the hands of their husbands: help is there, so much more than there was years ago.

Don't be afraid to ask for help; it might mean the difference between a life filled with pain and one filled with hope.

"I'm still scared," Pam says, "my kids didn't deserve any of this."

Pam is hoping to write this next chapter of her life with a much happier ending, one that will leave her smiling, one where she never has to be afraid to go home again.