The differences between men and women are never more obvious than when it comes to Christmas shopping. Women want to look, compare, study, analyze, feel, smell, poke, prod and ask questions about each and every item they think they might buy before they buy it. That’s why even though Christmas has come and gone, there are still not enough shopping days for a woman before Christmas 2013.
Men, on the other hand, wait until the last possible second to shop, then attack it like a military operation. Lock and load, in and out, take no prisoners, the mission comes first, and if we see anybody we know (who might want to stop and chat for a while), we dive for cover, preferably in the sports section. I can’t speak for all the men in Logan County, but I like to go to the sports section at Wal-Mart and pick up a football. I look to see if anyone is around and if no one is watching, I will take aim at a particular item on the shelf and act as if I am Tim Tebow trying to win a Super Bowl. I rear back and throw the football as hard as I can; I get so excited when I knock down that can of tennis balls that I am aiming for. However, when I miss, I get out of that isle as quickly as I can so no one can see that it was the Pastor at the First Christian Church in Russellville who created a mess in the sports section. If anyone does see me and the mess I have created, I just tell them that my name is Rev. Judge Coker and for them to send the bill to the Methodist Temple to the attention of Mr. Don Firchow.
As a general rule, men hate to shop. Going to Lowe’s, Sears and Wal-Mart is okay because they sell chainsaws, PVC Pipe, Lava Rock for landscaping, flat screen televisions and footballs but going to the mall is like walking into quicksand – on purpose. That’s why, my fellow men in Logan County, I challenge you to try something new for Christmas 2013. I challenge you to make hand-made, do-it-yourself presents for everybody on your Christmas list.
Crazy you say? Time consuming you say? I don’t think so, and stop saying such things. We men can do anything we set our minds to as long as it doesn’t involve shopping. In fact, I already know what I’m going to make for my wife – a squirrel-skinned hand bag. Now, every year I buy my wife a Vera Bradley purse and she loves me for it. After all, I am Scott Murphy, the most romantic man in Logan County. However, Vera Bradley items can get very expensive. So for Christmas 2013, I am going to make her a squirrel-skinned hand bag. And if all goes well, you might even see some for sale at “Shoppe on the Square” here in town and I could make a squirrel skinned fortune.
I’ve got plenty of time until next Christmas to get one of them squirrels and turn it into a purse that is more attractive than anything Tommy Hilfiger could create. Who knows – it might one day be a treasured gift passed down from generation to generation. And I never had to take a step into a mall. I say it’s a win-win situation.
So, Happy Early Merry Christmas 2013 to all, and let the shopping (shooting) begin.
God Bless and GO CATS!
Rev. Scott Murphy is the Pastor at the First Christian Church in Russellville.